Looking in the mirror, we don’t see ourselves anymore. We only see the horrible things we’ve done. Perhaps we see the stigma and shame that society places on those of us who have used substances. We see the pain we have caused ourselves, the pain we have caused others, and the pain of living this way for so long. With all of this and more marring our self-image, can we even learn to love ourselves?
Shattering Stigma
We all know the stigma around substance use. Maybe we have even perpetuated it at some point in our lives. Society will tell us that those who use substances are less than, that it is somehow their fault that they became addicted, and that they deserve whatever wretched life that they have. That is simply not true.
We know that people who struggle with addiction are warm, wonderful human beings with identities and purposes and favorite things. We know that addiction comes from the substance, not some moral failing. We know that it can be so lonely and so painful to suffer from addiction, and we know that the stigma around addiction doesn’t help anyone. Certainly, it is not helping us.
We can shatter this stigma. We can look into the mirror and tell ourselves that we are warm, wonderful human beings. That we love to love, and that we cry when we are sad because we are just like everyone else. We can tell ourselves that we matter and that we do not need to live this life forever. We can tell ourselves that we can access a different life. Then we can make the call to access that life.
Looking Beyond the Pain
We may have done and seen unspeakable things. We may have hurt ourselves and others. However, we do not need to become that pain. We can allow ourselves to feel the pain before we heal, much like when we skin our knee, it hurts. Then we treat it, bandage it, and allow it to heal. Our emotional pain, all of the pain we have endured as a result of our substance use—we can heal from that, too. There is no quick fix, no bandage to help it heal faster. But we can heal if we are willing to look beyond the pain.
Beyond the pain is an amazing human being. A human being with likes and dislikes, smiles and sorrows, strengths and weaknesses. That person has always been with us. Even when our substance use has taken center stage in our lives or even our behaviors, we are still that same amazing human being on the inside. Looking beyond our pain, we can access our true self to help us to heal. Then our amazing self will be allowed to take center stage again, hopefully forever.
Self-Acceptance
If we want to love ourselves again, then we will have to accept ourselves first. It is easy to accept all of the amazing parts, but we need to accept the parts that can sometimes be less fun, too. If we accept our strengths, we need to accept our weaknesses, also. Seeing all of the facets of who we are is exactly what makes us who we are.
When we are able to take off the substance use glasses, take off the judgment glasses, take off the rose-colored glasses, and just see ourselves for who we are, we might be surprised at just how amazing we are. Choosing to take this journey and seek self-acceptance makes us pretty amazing in and of itself. Being willing to step into recovery makes us truly amazing.
Falling in Love Again
After we have learned to accept ourselves for who we are in all of our flaws and virtues, we can start to fall in love again. Remember when we were young, and we did that one thing? Or we said that hilarious joke? Remember that perhaps we love to take walks right after it rains? Remember that maybe we are loyal to our friends and family, and even in our substance use, that didn’t change? Whatever is wonderful about who we each are, individually, we can find those things once more as we learn to fall in love with ourselves all over again.
Loving Ourselves Enough to Heal
Shattering the stigma that society has built around substance use is hard while looking beyond the pain and finding self-acceptance can be even more difficult. Learning to love ourselves after all we have been through is a journey in and of itself. However, the real journey starts when we allow ourselves to begin to heal.
By entering treatment for our substance use, we show that love for ourselves, the commitment to our healing. By continuing on our recovery journey and rebuilding ourselves one piece at a time, we show a deep and profound love for ourselves and that amazing person that we found hiding within us. Loving ourselves enough to truly commit to our healing is what allows us to maintain our recovery.
Can I learn to love myself?
At Rancho Milagro Recovery, we believe that you can. We are committed to creating a place of trust and love for you to find that self-love once again. Please call us at (951) 526-4582, we want you to discover the you that has been there all along. We want you to be able to say that you truly love yourself again.