Anyone who has ever lost something and not realized it was gone has no feeling of loss since they don’t know what is missing. Similarly, during our addiction we were apathetic to the loss of ourselves during our darkest moments. In our addiction we cannot remember what brought us joy and our hopes and dreams feel so distant that we cannot even fathom attaining the life we want. The loss of self runs so deep that we are not even able to grasp the concept of living a life of purpose or worth. However, when we can dig our way out of the hole of apathy and darkness and into the light of recovery, we can begin to see the hope we had once lost. We will remember who we are, who we want to be, and our passion within as we heal from addiction. The path to recovery is the journey in which we rediscover ourselves.
Finding What Was Lost In Substance Abuse
During active substance abuse, our thoughts are centered around substances and rarely about ourselves. When we feel pain, we drink or use drugs to numb the pain which begins the vicious cycle of addiction. The longer we abuse substances, the more we think about that next drink or fix and the less we think about ourselves and who we are. It doesn’t take very long at all to lose ourselves completely.
When we begin the recovery process, we begin to peel back the layers of ourselves. Like finding a hidden treasure, underneath the addiction and all of the pain, we might find someone we recognize: ourselves. The process of rediscovery can be uncomfortable. We have to see all of the parts of us – the good parts and the parts we don’t like. But during our recovery we will also learn to accept all of these parts of us, which may be the first time we have ever been capable of doing that.
Finding Clarity Within
Being able to accept ourselves completely, no matter what we’ve done or how much pain we have, helps us to see ourselves more clearly. Finding that clarity means that we learn who we are – our beliefs, our values, and the essence of our being. Being completely honest and fair with ourselves allows us to shed the weight of substance abuse and all of the lies, pretenses, and self-loathing that got in the way of living authentically.
By finding clarity, we can live true to ourselves and live free from the shackles of addiction. We find our voice, and we are able to advocate for ourselves and our needs. Finding clarity means also speaking with clarity, allowing us to be true to ourselves and show others who we really are. Living with this level of clarity is empowering and is the guiding force in our recovery.
Rediscovering Purpose
Once we begin to remember who we are and can find some clarity, we will also be able to rediscover our purpose. After being lost in substance abuse for so long, we may have forgotten why we are here and what it is that we actually want to do. Making these significant changes to step onto the recovery path can help us to rediscover our purpose in life and find the things that drive us and make us want to get up everyday.
We may actually discover that our purpose has changed. Having experienced the highs and lows of substance abuse, we may feel empowered to help others recover from this difficult journey. Whatever our purpose is, we can find value in fulfilling it and being able to clearly see our path again.
Rediscovering Self
What did we like to do before we began our substance abuse? What was it that made us tick? What kind of people did we get along well with? Where did we like to go? What were our favorite foods? Too often, we lose those things along the way during our addiction. Rediscovering who we are and the things that inspired us and made us feel good is all part of the process of rediscovering who we are.
Rediscovering Joy
We hear the word joy being thrown around, but when was the last time that we actually truly felt joy? For example, when was the last time we laughed from our belly and could not stop laughing? When was the last time we looked at a friend or family member and could not stop smiling or feeling warmth in our hearts and grateful for them to be in our lives?
Healing from substance abuse allows us to truly feel natural emotions again, especially joy. We can look at a beautiful sunrise and feel the warmth inside of us to be able to witness something so amazing. We can feel every sensation of our being and find the true joy of living.
You may not have even realized amidst all of the pain and substance abuse that you had lost yourself. But finding yourself and rediscovering who you are, finding your purpose, and finding joy can make the recovery process worth it. You can find clarity and rediscover your voice as you learn to advocate for yourself and what you need. You can reconnect with the things that made you happy before, and find joy in even the littlest things in life once again. Rancho Milagro Recovery is ready to help you rediscover yourself. Please call us at (951) 526-4582 to find out more about what you may have lost. We are committed to helping you step boldly on the recovery path to begin to find your true self again. We can help you rediscover yourself, find your voice, and find your belly laugh again. Don’t wait another minute. Find the most precious of treasures again: the essence of you.