Being separated from a partner or other family members during military deployment is difficult at any time of the year. The holidays in and of themselves are stressful enough, with all of the additional expenses, time commitments, and dealing with dysfunctional relationships. Combining a deployment with the holidays can be a recipe for disaster for our mental health. Substance abuse always skyrockets during the holidays, so how can we survive a holiday deployment?
Finding Time to Connect
Whether we are the service person deployed, or we are the ones left behind, it is important to find the time and methods to connect, especially at this time of the year. It is easy for military personnel to avoid communicating or socializing with fellow soldiers, but it becomes a priority when away from home for the holidays. Seclusion leads to poor mental health habits and a greater potential for substance abuse, so it is important to avoid being alone or disconnecting from family and friends during this time.
Likewise, it is important for the partner and family to find time to connect with their soldier. Calls, video chats, letters, and packages mean twice as much at this time of the year, and the effort put into staying in touch will also bless the family members, too. Focusing on supporting the one who is serving helps us to keep from focusing on how sorry we feel for ourselves or how much we miss them. Making it a priority to connect them with pictures, videos, emails, letters, small gifts, and more helps us to remember why they are serving and lose our own self-pity. When we are feeling lonely, reaching for a pen and paper to write a letter instead of reaching for a substance creates a winning situation for everyone.
Filling Time Productively
During deployment, soldiers can typically stay busy. When not working, there are plenty of other people around who are also missing home who we can commiserate with and work to support one another. Rather than secluding ourselves, we can reach out to comfort others, instead of seeking comfort in substances. Staying positive and productive can be challenging, but it is not as challenging as recovering from substance abuse. Staying busy and staying connected can help us avoid the latter.
Families at home need to fill time productively, too. There is more to be done during the holidays, even during a socially distanced holiday season like this one will be. There are still letters or emails to write, gifts to be purchased, food to be prepared and enjoyed, and now the opportunity for new holiday traditions from far away. This year, instead of being able to travel to be with extended family or friends, we are challenged with the opportunity to connect with everyone from a distance. Staying productive in completing these tasks, no matter how difficult it may be on our own, can keep us focused and free of substance abuse, especially if we are alone. Being productive also helps fill the time that we are away from our deployed soldier, so rather than spinning our wheels or sitting around succumbing to the inevitable loneliness, we can be proactive and fill our time constructively.
Setting Boundaries With Family
If we are able to spend time with friends and family this holiday season, it is more important than ever to set boundaries. Particularly when it comes to using substances around us, and especially if we are in recovery. We have the typical holiday stressors, as well as missing a loved one who is serving our country during this special time, and we do not need to have family dysfunction or the temptation to relapse adding even more stress.
Asking for Support
In addition to setting boundaries, we can ask family and friends for the support we need. Whether it is a daily phone call or check-in, helping with the kids or holiday tasks, or an exercise buddy to keep us mentally and physically on track, reaching out to others is a way to support our own mental health at this time. It also allows others to have empathy and give us the support we need during this particularly difficult emotional time.
Making Your List, Checking It Twice
After doing all we can to stay connected, stay busy, set boundaries, and ask for help, we need to make sure that our own self-care is at the top of our to-do list every day. Being strict about sleep, nutrition, exercise, and also maintaining our happy place can make or break our mental health at a time when we are so taxed. Giving back to ourselves ensures that we have something left to give others, so we need to check-in daily and check our to-do list twice to stay well.
Perhaps the only thing more stressful on families and relationships than a military deployment is a deployment that extends through the holidays. Loneliness is inevitable, but you don’t have to fill it with substance use.
During this time, it is especially important to stay connected with your loved ones at home and overseas. Fill your time with productive activities and set boundaries with friends and family if needed. Most importantly, ask for the support you need.
For more support, contact Rancho Milagro Recovery today at (951) 526-4582. We can help you find recovery for substance use and learn to make yourself a priority by making your list of to-do’s for you and checking it twice. Learning to prioritize your recovery and mental health will make you a better soldier, a better partner or family member, and a better you. You can survive these holidays, even with deployment, and you can survive with wellness and recovery from substance abuse.