There are plenty of outward manifestations within addictive behaviors that justify the damage to relationships between the person with the addiction and those around them. It is not only those obvious, big, risk-taking behaviors but just everyday responses and actions that show no compassion for others. Is it just their personality? Or does it have to do with the addiction? What is the relationship between empathy and addiction?
Which Came First?
A lack of empathy is a common trait amongst those with addiction. But did the addiction cause the lack of empathy? Or did a lack of empathy contribute to the addiction? Studies have shown that both may be true. However, the cause of a lack of empathy is less important than the effect of being compassionately deficient in our relationships with others.
The effects of not being empathetic toward others can be very destructive to relationships. Whether it be close relationships, like a partner or spouse, parent or child, or even casual relationships such as a coworker, the ability to read and respond appropriately to social cues makes a huge difference in our ability to build healthy relationships.
Why a Lack of Empathy Can Lead to Addiction
Sometimes those who are somewhat socially impaired turn to substances because of the consequences of not understanding social cues. Struggling to make and keep friends, have successful romantic relationships, and not feel lonely in the absence of these relationships often leads to drug and alcohol use to cope with the pain.
Imagine living in a world where everyone can see all of the colors and every nuance thereof, but we can only see black, white, and shades of grey. That is how it feels for people who lack empathy or other social skills. Everyone else understands facial cues, body language, and the emotions behind the words. But those lacking empathies are lost, wandering around, and usually alone and lonely. Turning to substances to try to fill that void should not be that surprising, unfortunately.
Why Addiction Leads to a Lack of Empathy
The extensive use of substances can lead to a lack of empathy. The use of substances pulls us away from relationships, causes us to break social and relational commitments, and generally focus on getting that next drink or fix. As we focus more and more energy on our substance use, we miss basic social and emotional cues from others. As we go missing from the lives of those we love in pursuit of substances, we miss out on their lives altogether and drift further apart. It is difficult to feel empathy for others when we don’t even show up physically.
In the initial stages of substance use, we may exhibit less concern for social consequences caused by us or our behaviors related to substance abuse. As we continue, any concerns expressed by those we love about our substance use no longer deter us from using them. At some point, we lose all concern about our relationships until we are fully addicted and we cannot even perceive the harm we are causing ourselves or others in our addiction.
How Treatment Can Improve Empathy
Effective treatment for addiction can help us begin to have more empathy for others. Beginning with the renewed recognition of social consequences regarding our behaviors and then with the increased awareness of the concerns that others have for our well-being. As we become healthier and leave our substances further behind, we may realize that we could lose some of our relationships based on the behaviors associated with our addiction. As we begin to have more empathy, we will actually be motivated for our recovery as we perceive the harm we have caused to others in our addiction. As we achieve a higher state of mental and emotional wellness, we also develop more empathy for others.
Repairing Relationships After Addiction
Within treatment for substance abuse, communication skills are taught and therapy helps us to learn how to repair our current relationships and build new long-lasting relationships. With increased empathy and compassion that we gain in our recovery, we can learn to see more of the colors of emotions in the world and relate better to others all around us. Developing compassion for our fellow humans helps us to develop compassion for ourselves, and we become not just better friends and relations, but better human beings. Just as a lack of empathy and addiction are intertwined, compassion, and empathy for others increases as our healing in recovery grow.
What is the relationship between empathy and addiction? Not only are empathy and addition intertwined, but they can actually have a cause and effect relationship within the context of substance abuse. A lack of empathy impacts your ability to relate to others around you and can be seriously detrimental to building lasting relationships with loved ones. Rancho Milagro Recovery can provide you with excellent treatment for your addiction, including both communication skills and therapy directed at being able to heal and build healthy relationships. Discover our beautiful, serene ranch setting near Temecula, California by calling (951) 526-4582. Ask about how our wonderful rescue animals offer opportunities for even the most socially challenged people to develop greater empathy and compassion for others. Break out of the mold of addiction and lack of empathy and learn to be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, while learning more about yourself in the process.